Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Scaredy Cat!

Good morning friends! Happy Tuesday! I'm excited about today because it's GBG day! Woo hoo! I'm really looking forward to some good quality God and girl time. :)

I'm also excited because I'm 1/3 of the way through the challenge! Yay! Moving right along here... :)

Day 10: Something You're Afraid Of

Well THAT'S not a fun topic to think about! Ok, if you know me, you know I'm afraid of chainsaws. Actually, I'm petrified of chainsaws! So much so, that I don't even like to look at them. For some reason, I feel the need to insert a picture of a chainsaw here. (Please know that I cringed the whole time I was looking for this):

Now, maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of THIS chainsaw...

Why, you ask, am I afraid of chainsaws? Did I have some scary experience where I almost cut my leg off? Nope, that would be Jeffrey! Did I watch a scary movie about a chainsaw killer? Nope, I won't even look at the box. The only thing that I can think of is the guy chasing me in the haunted house. But still, I don't think that's it either.

So, my answer to your question (ok, my question) is that I just don't know why. I know, that's not nearly as dramatic as you were hoping. Sorry! All I know is that if I hear a chainsaw (or a leaf-blower), then I have the urge to hightail it out of there-and usually do!!

Upon reflection, I think I might be scared of them because they can hurt you. Actually, I don't like stinging animals (bees, jellyfish, etc.) and they hurt you too. So maybe that's it? I'm afraid of being hurt physically? I'm terrified of being in another wreck, another thing that would hurt me. Hmm...there might be something to this theory...I mean, I'm not a pansy (I don't think). I've been hurt before. I don't like it, but I don't freak out.

Maybe it's more that I'm afraid of things I can't control. Ahh...I feel like a lightbulb just went off in my head! (Bet you didn't think you'd be reading a self-conducted therapy session today did you?!) That's it! I'm afraid of things that are out of my control! Chainsaws-can run away and hurt you. Car wrecks-can't always control what others are going to do. Death-definitely have no control over that. I think that's it.

And actually, if I'm honest, even these things (including chainsaws) don't scare me as much as they used to. Why? Because God put me in the ultimate "out-of-control" situation back when I was pregnant. Two days after our 20 week ultrasound, we got a call from the doctor (like the actual doctor, not the nurse or tech). She said something had shown up in Levi's scans that had her concerned. She mentioned words like down syndrome, diminished mental capacity, and several others that made me go blind with fear. She told me we'd have to have a more detailed ultrasound done in 2 weeks to test some other factors. TWO WEEKS?! How the heck can you ask a mother to wait 2 weeks to find out if her child's alright?! After calling Jeffrey and bawling my eyes out, I said a prayer. I prayed for peace and understanding. I prayed for faith and comfort. And I prayed that God would take away the worry and concern, and instill in my heart the thought that He was in control. You know, He answered that prayer immediately! I felt calm instead of turmoil. I felt trust instead of fear. I felt like it didn't matter what I did or said, God was in control. I want you to know I didn't worry about that test one single time! Not once in the 2 weeks we had to wait to have it done. And what happened? Everything was normal. He was ruled perfectly healthy! How awesome is our God? In a situation where I should have been afraid, He calmed my fears. :)

So, what am I afraid of? Yeah, I'm still afraid of all the things I mentioned. I'm afraid something's going to happen to Jeffrey or Levi. I'm afraid something's going to happen to me, and I won't be there for them. I'm afraid of a lot of things. But I don't have to live in that fear. That's the beauty of being a Christian!

I hope you stuck through that whole therapy session with me. I didn't expect it to turn into what it did. I just started typing, and didn't stop! There's a part of me that feels like I should go back and change some things, edit stuff out. But I promised myself and you that I would be honest. Well, today, you got my honest thoughts and feelings! :)

I've been tagged in a survey post! :) I'll try to get to that tomorrow. Have a great day! :)

1 comment:

  1. Okay I gotta admit. I skimmed lol BUT I picked it back up at the end part. I hope you have a great day too!